We are continuing our two-part series on communication between parents and ministry leaders. Thank you to all of the ministry leaders and parents who shared their thoughts with us!

Today, we are sharing the parent perspective!

Last week, we shared the perspective of ministry leaders. As a gathered responses for today's email about what parents want ministry leaders to know, I was struck by how different the responses were. Ministry leaders are focused on the good of their ministry, the best interest of all children, and the goals of the church. Parents are focused on the needs and best interests of their children. They are living the realities of disability day in and day out, looking for the church to be a place of inclusion and belonging. So, understandably, their perspective is a bit more raw.

So, what do parents want ministry leaders to know?

Going to church can be harder than you think

If you are a parent of a child--disability or not--you know how difficult it can be to just get out the door on Sunday mornings. For most parents, this challenge feels worth it because, once they get to church, they can drop their kids off in their classroom or let them go meet their friends, feeling confident that they are now free to go worship without worry.

Parents of children with disabilities don't always feel this way on Sundays. Getting out of the house might have been difficult, finding accessible parking didn't work out, drop off was met with big emotions, and their child had a new volunteer buddy this week. By the time they get to the sanctuary, parents might be feeling pretty exhausted.

On top of that, parents might have had simply had negative experiences.

Cassie, a subscriber, told us: “Please stop labeling my kid as ‘bad’ or 'difficult.' It makes me not want to send my kid AND makes my kid not want to come because they don’t feel welcome.” Of course, if concerning behaviors arise, parents want to know. But being mindful of the way it is communicated and letting parents know that their child is loved and welcome goes a long way.

It can be hard for parents to ask for what they need

We heard from many ministry leaders who want to make things easier for families impacted by disability, saying, “Tell us what you need!” Which is an amazing attitude! From the parent's perspective, Kristen told us on Instagram, “Parents hate asking for anything because we already feel like an inconvenience.” Sometimes this fear can be helped by ministry leaders letting parents know that they want their child to have the best possible experience and they are not an inconvenience, but a needed part of the church.

Church can be the best part of the day, but the rest of the day might be hard

Sometimes the concern for parents doesn't happen at church, but at home afterward. Michelle told us via Instagram, “[Children might be] masking at church and falling apart at home the rest of the day.” It can take some students an extraordinary amount of energy to meet expectations at church, so the rest of the day might come with challenges. Ministry leaders can encourage parents at pickup, give frequent breaks to students as needed, and--most importantly--pray for students' families throughout the week.

I pray that this is helpful information that helps ministry leaders understand the thoughts and feelings of parents, as well as helps parents feel heard. These waters can be tricky to navigate, but God is being honored by your work, both as parents and as ministry leaders.